Five years ago, I was a completely different version of myself. My method of dealing with past traumas and stress was to check out in any way I could. I am not here to whitewash any of my experiences. Mindless eating, drinking, smoking, disconnected from true intimacy, excessive sleeping, and slipping into a state of vegetation in front of screens were all self damaging habits I had gotten very much used to. These were poor substitutes for the true connection I was seeking. I was addicted to self avoidance. And without even knowing it, I was afraid to face myself. I was afraid to take stock of the ways I hurt myself over the years. I was afraid to be honest about the ways the people closest to me had left me hurting as well.
...I was addicted to self avoidance. And without even knowing it, I was afraid...
Those habits of avoidance began to change when I realized I was on my way to checking out early from this half lived life. I had to make the choice to rewire all the connections I had to my past and to my identity if I was going to meaningfully change how I was living in the present. Now, here I am. I am choosing myself. I choose a belief in my own capacity for change, growth, and power. I continue to make this choice every day, practicing endless self forgiveness and recommitting myself to my own spiritual sovereignty. This doesn't mean I've reached some perfect nirvana, or that I don't experience all the depths of human emotion. It simply means that I keep trying to face moments of discomfort with compassion, patience, and humility. My old habits still appear in my life on occasion, and I must greet them with gracious acceptance when they do. This is the work. This is the hidden commitment of wellness. The tools I've collected and learned to use regularly enliven my Spirit in unbelievable ways. These tools were hard won, but they gave and continue to give me new ways to move through the world. And I know there are new ways for you to move through the world too. That is why I want to share these tools. To distribute them to as many people that want them.
Remember that boundless energy of childhood? That feeling of being powerfully animated? Unbound? Although that feeling may have faded, the energy of its source is within reach. We all play a game of hide and seek with that source. That is the great work. If you feel called to open, trust your own divinity, and receive, I would be honored if you chose to work with me on your journey of reconnecting. My Heart to Your Heart, The Copper Priestess
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